Truth and Love

As people have reacted to my blog post about Kyle’s inclusion issues of late, and as staff has reacted to my withdrawing Kyle from band, I’m struck by a few truths.

1.  Truth often lies in the gray areas that exist between the perceptions of those involved. It turns out that some of those who, in my perception, excluded Kyle, in their mind, did their best to include him. I’m not here to debate it. I would suggest that it might serve as a reminder to all of us that, when we are quite sure we are in the right, to pause to reflect whether there could be any nuggets of truth in others’ perceptions as well.
2. Many people have hearts full of love. Kyle’s former teacher who emailed me to tell me how anyone who allows Kyle in their life is wonderfully blessed. The 15-year-old who reached out to me and single-handedly orchestrated Kyle’s invitation to youth group. The church youth leader who sought me out to tell me they would LOVE to have my son in youth group. The many people who correctly assumed that those who can’t accept Kyle are the biggest losers in this scenario.
3. We are not alone. Our story resonated with many parents of kids with special health care needs because they too have been down similar roads. It is important to tell our stories. It is important because together, we can make change. It’s also important because we can let each other know we are not alone, we are understood, and we are not delusional. Parents are still the best source of support and power for other parents. For this reason, I’m glad Kyle’s story is being shared, as a little reminder that no one is alone in this.
4.  Kids with intellectual disabilities have a lot to teach us. I asked Kyle how school was and he clapped and said “yay.” No band today. Lots of fun and learning with the teachers and classmates he loves. Life has worked out, yesterday’s moment is over, and there is plenty to enjoy about today. Let’s smile and hug. That is truth. And love.

So tonight, Kyle smiled, and hugged me. I laughed, and hugged him back. He’s moving on. And I’m doing my best to keep up.